You’ve
hit a new low
The one
where you ask the underage kid for help with
Getting your
fix because they have more access than you do
And you
hate that your need to escape has brought you both here
But it’s
not stopping you as you sit blearily with your morning after shame
Of
crashing someone else’s stage at that bar you love
But will
never have the guts to return to
After
exposing your most private pain outrageously
As if it
took all those witnesses with their eyes on you
For you to
finally call it by its right name
To
believe the story your body tells
Whispered
up from the insides of your bones
The
denial isn’t working and you can’t keep breaking down
You try
not to think of all the time lost and all the things you’ve yet to be
You
imagine yourself pristine still
Walking
in some parallel space unmolested
And
wonder if that girl would have had babies
Or had
her life together by now
And just
then the rush hits in its mercy and raises you to the ether
Where
you look down to see your body standing
Over the
corpse you’ve been carrying
So you
name it to its rotten face and watch its teeth all fall out
Its
power to hurt you lost with the lie you told to keep yourself sane
You will
bury it properly this time just as soon as you get back
