Sins of Omission

If I'm honest

I'd have to admit

that some part of me felt shame

at loving you 

a woman 


Afraid of what it would mean

to be seen as something other than

a standard bearing girl

As though the omission

of a phallus was an unthinkable abdication

of my desiring to be desired


As if I had not been raised

on the fantasy of being a woman lifted

in the arms of a larger man who

made me feel small and

could carry me easily off to bed

dutifully ignoring the threat

inherent in the dichotomy


And how as I allowed myself 

to fall for you I only knew to mimic

what I thought you wanted in a man

taking pleasure in play acting

the other side but failing to see 

it was the same unequal script 


And how I know now

we were resplendent in our softness

with nothing missing but 

the expectations we had swallowed

that omitted the truths 

of our irresistable love