marrow

You’ve hit a new low

The one where you ask the underage kid for help with

Getting your fix because they have more access than you do

And you hate that your need to escape has brought you both here

But it’s not stopping you as you sit blearily with your morning after shame

Of crashing someone else’s stage at that bar you love

But will never have the guts to return to

After exposing your most private pain outrageously

As if it took all those witnesses with their eyes on you

For you to finally call it by its right name

To believe the story your body tells

Whispered up from the insides of your bones

The denial isn’t working and you can’t keep breaking down

You try not to think of all the time lost and all the things you’ve yet to be

You imagine yourself pristine still

Walking in some parallel space unmolested

And wonder if that girl would have had babies

Or had her life together by now

And just then the rush hits in its mercy and raises you to the ether

Where you look down to see your body standing

Over the corpse you’ve been carrying

So you name it to its rotten face and watch its teeth all fall out

Its power to hurt you lost with the lie you told to keep yourself sane

You will bury it properly this time just as soon as you get back