nashville saturday morning

 

dear intruder

 

you were an echo of my past,

a dark pattern repeated.

i, a girl wanting to be seen & discovered;

you, all too willing to oblige,

though with an agenda all your own:

everything free comes with a price.

you brought me briefly into your world,

just as you let yourself into mine.

a decency of sorts was perpetrated in your act---

you could have taken more;

like the first, you believed you had the right.

and here i am left wanting

more than i had or have

and wondering

what i’ve lost or given up

or taken in return;

you teach me the limits of my guilt,

my hunger, my shame. but

you will never have what you want of me;

it belongs to me alone.

and i will not let myself become

another you,

despite the pull of your dark gravity.

St. Vincent - Strange Mercy

theorem

 

if you are in possession of yourself, then nothing else can possess you without your giving it permission.

idea

 

if we can stop the wars inside ourselves, maybe all wars can end.

both &

 

i want to be beyond influence, but open to intuition. 

theorem

the deeper the indoctrination, the darker the inebriation.