Fog

The alarms embedded in my body

are going off again

My nervous system once went to war and

I've been nervous ever since

It's a challenge not to fight

when all feels like survival

I tell myself to stand down


I want to be seen

I want to be invisible

Eyes that see sit above mouths full of teeth

in the heads of hungry people

I am always trying to preserve

the unpreserved after the fact


In crowded rooms

sometimes I find a peace

if I close my eyes and breathe

with my back against a wall

for a moment I soften

So much effort spent keeping things out

and I want to let someone in